& I don't move on, I carry it all with me;

MFA thesis show - April 12, 2024

inside these walls : a fragment of life

“Memoir offers reflection. Memoir offers self-regeneration through a deeper, plumier

understanding of the subject. Memoir offers a document that establishes that the subject exists

beyond the image; it provides context. While my desilvering mirrors will eventually be entirely

lost to the void as they become eradicated by age and exposure, the fleeting reflective surface has

become permanent and recorded in the form of written memoir. The image has been documented,

edited, and shared. I will not yield and be crushed by the expectation of branding that fragmentary

reflection, dividing myself into subject and image. I am able to shift and change, the fragments

evolving and devolving in tandem with the narrative I provide. The language, adding context, will

only ever become richer from that fluidity; the reflective nature of memoir making the subject

more than a vapid, curated veneer fit for public consumption. It is that internal reflection which

allows for the possibility of satiation. The refusal of division is what will ultimately allow me to

do more. The refusal to bend and commit to a simplified narrative that holds recovery above

seeking allows for so much more.”

Excerpt from “Silver Tableaux: Memoir Vivant.” Published in Global Performance Studies.

Read Essay Here

First Floor

Stairwell

Second Floor

Third Floor

Exhibition Statement

This exhibition attempts to explore an expansive historical, geographical, socio-political, religious, and aesthetic range in performance, craft, and written material. By design, it is far too much content to parse apart or contend with in a two hour window. The fragment one is able to glean from their experience here is going to be entirely idiosyncratic to that audience member, by and large because there is no way to take in every room in its fullness. Through discordant technologies and intersecting themes of concern, I am presenting an example of the vast array of large-scale and personal issues that can unravel under one roof. Nothing in this home is being presented as concretely finished. I don’t believe that these conversations are ever able to be “finished.” It is all to be viewed as something forever emerging, unfolding, and gaining resonance through accumulation- too many photographs, too many books with an ever growing array of notes, too many performances to watch. The concerns shared here are environmental, emotional, ecological; it is ever-lasting, this echo of personal development and politics. Each floor and room explores a different dimension of these concerns, linking the spaces through visuals which harken back to the aesthetics (and politics) of the Arts and Crafts movement. Various forms of media are deployed throughout the space in order to gesture broadly, while the interspersal of my personal narrative hopes to bring specificity.

This exhibition is autotheoretical, and autofictional, but it is also a strong attempt to hone in on something global. It is my personal experience and developing Self that acts as an interface for that which goes beyond my corporeal, spiritual, digital, and historic limits.

This exhibition has been a labor of great love. I am beyond blessed to be the recipient of so much assistance. It is my sincere prayer that whatever fragment of information you take from here is something which both troubles and uplifts you. It is my prayer that you hold it as something that is either, and or, and rest. That it allows you to dig into that which has left an indelible mark for you.

For me, the scope of experiences, resources, writing, and performances presented here are to illuminate something which I have come to hold as undeniable when it comes to how I live, how I move through the world, how I experience God, how I observe the terrain of my politics and deeply private heartache:

There is no moving on; I carry it all with me.

Read University of Wisconsin-Madison Article Here

This exhibition contained over 900 handmade and antique items, supported by literary materials, amounting to close to a million words in the form of essays, NOTATIONS, & instructions.

PERFORMANCE APRONS & TEXTILES

All performance worker’s aprons, the SOLIDARITY banner, and the dinner party table cloth were constructed

by Maeve Lynn Sørensdatter.

All antique textiles were hand-dyed by Mrs. & Mrs. Sørensdatter.

INSIDE THESE WALLS : A FRAGMENT OF LIFE

PERFORMERS

Truman Ader

Lauren Aria

Geena Barry

Violet Besta

Cat Birk

Carson Marie Borbely

Taylor Eilander

Jason Houge

Gene Hunt

Elinor Jane

Garrett Jeffery

Maya Justice

Natalie Lambert

Rylie Lawrence

X Medianoche

Makayla Polk

Adrian Rosario

Derek Schenk

Anamika Singh

Ari Smith

Serendipity Stage

Caitlin Mary Margarett Sørensdatter

Maeve Lynn Sørensdatter

Elaina Tellez

Joel Wisner

Kit Wong

Thanks & Acknowledgements

It takes a village- quite literally.

I am blessed beyond compare with the most generous, wonderful people. It is truly my honor to be amongst you all.

First and foremost: Thank you, Katrina & Cary Forest, for allowing me to use your beautiful home for this monstrously large exhibition. Your trust in me with your house is overwhelmingly appreciated. I truly could not have made this exhibition look as it does without your generosity.

Thank you to my graduate committee, without whom this exhibition would not have been possible:

Laurie Beth Clark (chair), Faisal Abdu’allah, John Baldacchino, and Darcy Padilla.

There are not words for how grateful I am to be in your hands, and to be the recipient of your mentorship.

Thank you to the UW-Madison faculty who I have worked with in my time here:

Gerit Grimm, Stephen Hilyard, Tomiko Jones, Nancy Marshall, Meg Mitchell, Michael Peterson, Douglas Rosenberg, Gail Simpson, and Christina West.

Thank you to my undergraduate professors, who have continued to be an incredible source of emotional & professional support, & who made me who I am:

Jeffery Byrd, Noah Doely, Aypryl Thompson, JoAnn Schnabel, and Elizabeth Sutton.

And, thank you, to the whole of my UNI Performance Art community. I am blessed, and extremely lucky, to be one of you. There has never been, and truly will never be anything quite like, UNI’s performance community. Vertigo forever.

Thank you to every single person who has traveled far & wide to perform for me, document this show, and express support. I am so grateful to have you here, and to hold you in my company. & thank you to everyone who sent messages of support from afar, wishing me the best.

Thank you to Dongzhu Pottery for being so wonderfully flexible with my schedule, giving me ample space to take time off to finish this undertaking. Teaching throwing classes at Dongzhu enabled me to become proficient enough to create the dinnerware in this exhibition– I am forever thankful.

Thank you to my twitter girls. You have all given me my life back, and I would not have made it through 2022 without this online community. You are all so, so kind. The list is long, including and definitely not limited to:

Liv Norris (for editing every single chapter of my novel as it rolled out, offering the most insightful, encouraging, & fucking hilarious comments); Rachael Mulvihill (for the emotional support, feedback on my novel, & devotion); Nadine (for being utterly kind & generous, helping to redact Partnership for this presentation of it); Elaina Tellez (who has been so utterly supportive, and has sent me so many ApplePay gifts so that I don’t starve mid-day); Tatiana (who so sweetly and generously invited my wife and I to live with her when we initially relocate to London); Jamie (who designed the chapter covers for Partnership); all the girls in my Twitter Affirmations WhatsApp chat- Emilie, Agatha, Samantha, Kayla, and Bea; Candice & Sarah, Lauren, Skylar & Abby, Mia, Ella, Olivia, Molly Follansbee-Williams, Kisha, Delia, Jezz, Shee, V, Jen, Amber, Charlie, G. Jane, and so many more whom I only have twitter handles for (& respect their privacy) that this list would go on for pages & pages if I tried to cover it all.

Thank you to all 125 of my devoted subscribers and my 689 readers of Partnership.

It is a privilege & a joy to write for so many incredible people.

Thank you to Trinity United Methodist for being my spiritual safe-space and the best community I know. Thank you to Pastor Kate for giving some of the best sermons I have ever sat in on.

Thank you to all of my extended & chosen family. This list has grown so exceptionally long and vast, and this document would go on forever if I even tried to list everyone.

Thank you to my maternal grandmother, Mary Lou Stockberger, who at 87 years young is the most fierce, sharp, sweet, wonderful woman.

Thank you to my mother, Jodie Beth Stockberger, for letting me spiral on the phone for hours & giving extremely helpful textile advice.

Thank you to my sister, Emma Elizabeth Brainard, for being so supportive, the funniest person with the darkest humor I know, & understanding my extremely annoying Oldest Daughter tendencies.

Thank you to my work wife, Natalie Lambert.

Thank you to my sweet, dear witness Carson Borbely.

Thank you to my soul sister, Lily Pham.

And thank you most of all to the miracle I never saw coming, but am most blessed by:

My wife, Maeve Lynn Sørensdatter.

I could not have become who I am without you, and I could not have come anywhere near close to getting this show off the ground without your patience, aid, and generosity of spirit and skill.

Loving you & being loved by you is the absolute honor of my life.